MADONNA!

OH EM GEE! It’s totaaaally Madonna’s birthday today! I know she’s probably far above googling herself, but if one of her ‘people’ is reading this right now- tell her Dolly says hi!

 Anyway, it goes without saying that Ms Ciccone is the most beautiful and stylish person on earth. So today I’m gonna share some tips to help you achieve some modicum of her awe-inducing FINESSE.

1. Let your roots show on purpose

"You look so good with blond hair and black roots its like not even funny."

 It’s dirty. And dirty is sexy.

2. It’s never too late to re-invent

It’s hard to argue that Madge isn’t the queen of re-invention. Cause well. Is there any look she hasn’t rocked?

4. Love your copy-cats

 

a) Madge actually looks better than gaga here, 30 year age difference or not.

b) She should be flattered

c) The woman who is often hailed as the most original dresser in pop rips off Madonna's look all the time- which obviously makes M a frickin' deity.

5. Cradle-snatching doesn’t make you look old it makes you looks SEDUCTIVE AS HELL

3. It’s all about the eyebrows betches.

6. Draw attention to your lady-bits

If your outfit shouts I AM A WOMAN or alternatively- LOOK AT MY VAGINA/TITS, then no man is immune. Men are dead stupid, if you didn’t let them know where the main attractions are then they’d never get there.

7. You are never too old for leotards

Never were truer words spoken.

P.S this got me so effing excited.