Tuesday, 27 September 2011

‘Vintagey’ and the Anachronism

Okay. I was watching the 2010 film ‘Submarine’, and I was trying to work out when it was supposed to be set. Which I've noticed has become increasingly difficult to do nowadays. I can’t remember the last time there was a new fashion trend that wasn’t a revival of something else, and it’s more and more common for people’s interiors to be deliberately kitsch and oldy-worldy.
At first you only see them in a school~ and school doesn’t change much so I was still pretty clueless. They’re wearing duffel coats though so I’m either thinking it’s modern and a bit hipster or maybe the 50s. Anyway. I see them walk past a P reg car- so AHA it must be modern.
I Wikipedia it anyway. So it’s set in 1986 then?
Why put a P reg car in plain view, I don’t even drive and I know that’s a late 90s registration.
They make so much effort to tint the picture a little sepia and show the main character using a typewriter and Polaroid camera. Then they just go and put something on screen that just SCREAMS nineties and it totally ruins my suspended disbelief.

[P.S I watched ‘One Day’ last month and Sturgess in ‘1997’ drinks out of an Ikea mug I bought LAST YEAR- but to complain about that would just be pedantic.. right?]

Sometimes I wonder why filmmakers bother to set films which you wouldn’t class as a period drama in the past… it always seems so much effort to make them convincing, and often a narrative will work just as well set in 2011 as if it was set in 1986.
There’s a post on UltraCulture (good blog btw) vis a vis this attitude in Spielberg’s Super 8.

Are the noughties (we’re not in the noughties any more are we.. we’re in the teens? Or something… who knows) really that unattractive for us? People are forever extolling the virtues of the past, whether it be the 60s, 70s, 80s or even the 90s- all are seen as idyllic. My mother told me the other day that if she had a small child nowadays she would not feel as safe letting them out as she did with me and my younger siblings from 1992 onwards.

I don’t think it really is more dangerous today. We just hear about it more.
I don’t want to think that one day I’ll feel almost ashamed of growing up in the 90s/early 00s. How will I show my future children (lol) what life is like now when all the photos we take are put through ridiculous hipstamatic/instagram filters, and all the films I’ve seen recently that aren’t the most vapid of romantic comedies are set in the past, or even worse.. are just remakes of pre-existing films; and music is just samples and covers and rip-offs.


Wednesday, 21 September 2011

City Livin'

Those of you who don’t know me in the real world might not realise that I originally hail from the countryside.
Yep, just like Farmville ‘cept it’s REAL.
[Mary mother of god!- MS word recognises Farmville as a proper word and even capitalised it for me… what is the world coming to?]
Anyway, me and the mohawked rugmuncher (oh so now mohawked and rugmuncher aren’t real words? Eff you MS word) had a debate about whether the city or the countryside is better to live in.
OBVIOUSLY I sided with the city, I mean- which sane person wouldn’t?
This is pretty much my house
It’s not that I’m not grateful to the countryside for giving me a dull as dishwater upbringing with nothing to do but sit on the church steps sipping from a three litre bottle of Frosty Jack’s. cause like, if I’d grown up in the city I might have… I don’t know, not been to as many parties put on in village halls? Or maybe  I wouldn’t have benefitted from knowing the name of every single drongo that sits on the till at Morrisons.
Nice tabard.

Okay, jokes aside. Maybe the countryside is safer. There are much more places for a murderer to dispose of your mutilated body, but chances are that cause everyone knows everyone you’re likely to already be aware of those with sociopathic tendencies, and have given them a wide berth.
Oh and it’s pretty. I hate the beach, but I guess the fields and rivers are okay I suppose.
Which is why I uphold the view that living in a village should be the preserve of holidaymakers and the elderly.
I googled 'inbred' and got this! LOLZ

EVERYTHING about living in a rural town is inconvenient. I don’t drive- so where I can go alone is entirely dependent on where buses go. Which generally- they don’t go at all. Buses cost a fortune too, people say London is expensive but a single bus ticket with an oyster card is only £1.30, I could pay £4, more if I actually admit to being an adult (I never will).

EVERYONE knows your business. Nothing can go under the radar. Especially when you’re a local celeb like myself….

EVERYWHERE is chock full of old people. I don’t particularly have a problem with old people.. but when I’m trying to post a letter the last thing I want is to be stuck behind a queue of geriatrics paying their TV licence with a collection of five pence pieces.
There are no old people in London, people think I’m joking but they just aren’t any.
You know they only have those wheely things to take up MORE space and be even MORE inconvenient 
Lol I called this post ‘City Livin’’ when actually I just ranted about how bad country living is.. oh well, c’est la vie.

Thursday, 1 September 2011


Hey guys! Welcome to my fiftieth post! I'm being all pensive.
So yesterday I put up a poll on my blog’s facebook asking y’all what you wanted to see more of on here.

And it got me thinking- the most important person on this blog is actually YOU.
It’s weird to think that anyone would read the drivel I want to write about, but it seems more and more so that you actually do! Crazy!

And I don’t know much about you.. I know most of you are from the UK, use PCs and run Internet Explorer. But apart from that I am clueless!

So this is my plea to you to tell me who you are, you don’t need to include your name or anything, just tell me if you know me in the real world, or if you found me by googling ‘are Jedward gay?’ (Seriously that is one of the top things people google to get here), you can tell me you think I’m an idiot- I don’t care, just tell me what you want! I’m never quite sure what’s a hit and what’s a miss.

What do you want me to write about?
Do you like my interviews?
Do you want to know more about your faithful narrator?
What’s your favourite post I’ve ever done?
I’m willing to talk about most things. Srsly I can chat shit about all number of topics [n.b please please please don’t ask me to talk about sport.. I run out of things to say after ‘I was a sub for the third netball team at school… errr I have asthma okay I am like allergic to exercise’]

So basically GET IN TOUCH WITH ME!!! There are a number of ways you can do this:-
By liking my FACEBOOK and writing on the wall
By sending an EMAIL to longtimenodig@mail.com
Or just by commenting on this post after the jump (I don’t think a blogger account is necessary, so you can give me abuse anonymously if you so wish)
If I get any feedback whatsoever from this I will be over the moon! So get tapping away on those little keyboards my little Long Time No Diggers.