Sunday, 31 October 2010

Having Very Long Hair

 If you know me you’ll know that I have very long hair; it’s often the first thing people notice about me and when people forget my name I am “the one with the hair”.  so I thought I’d do a FAQ thing about it.

First of all here's me- this is from last year but I always look the same 

Why is your hair so long?
Now, despite it somewhat defining me, I’m very laissez-faire with my hair- it is so long because I can’t be bothered to go to a hairdressers. Plus, they tend to take get a bit over excited at my hair and take ages trying to do stuff to it, and having my hair brushed in public is really embarrassing.

Has your hair always been that long?
This is a stupid question seeing as obviously I didn’t come out of the womb with it. I, like everyone else, had short hair as a young girl but I wanted to grow it so I’d look like a princess.. then I never stopped.
D'aww (and if you couldn't guess it was me from my angelic attire- i'm the blonde one)

How did you grow it so long? Mine gets to about here *gesticulates* then it stops growing! It’s so unfair! Waaaah!
Erm, your hair doesn’t just stop growing. Nutter. It got so long because I get my hair cut once or twice a year and you go every six weeks- duh.

Does it take you ages to wash and dry it?
Well, this is a weird one cause I’m not really aware of how long it takes people with short hair- since I’ve had long hair since I was about six. I try and wash my hair every other day to keep costs down and it takes me 20 minutes for a whole shower usually, is that normal? I don’t know. And I don’t use a hair-dryer; I’ve always ignored the risk of catching my death of cold (has anyone ever actually done that) and sleep with wet hair.

You ever tempted to cut it all off?
I actually quite frequently am but then I wuss out. I am definitely getting it all chopped off by my thirtieth birthday though, greying long hair is depressing and makes you look older.

Can I play with your hair?
No, just no.

You’re so lucky to have long hair
(I know this isn’t a question)
Yeah, I guess I am lucky that my circumstances haven’t forced me into selling my hair (yet). But seriously, I think I am- it’s kind of nice being stopped by old people because they want to give you compliments and tell you “I had hair just like you when I was a girl” although it is a bit creepy when they stroke it. I’m flattered but that’s weird.

I hope this was interesting for you, I never wrote the word hair that many times before. Crazy stuff.

p.s I thought I’d leave this as a treat:  if you’re dead bored read all the sections- I don’t know who this guy’s audience is supposed to be but they seem to be pretty “special” also he really hates barbers, like REALLY hates them. They’re constantly trying to sabotage his hair growth agenda. 

Saturday, 30 October 2010


(I know the film poster is awful)

John Waters’ 1990 teen musical Cry-Baby has been one of my favourite films since I was sixteen and my friend Vikki used it as ammunition in a dispute over whether Johnny Depp was worthy of heart-throb status (needless to say she won the argument after showing me this).  
Wikipedia informs me that: “The film did not achieve high audience numbers in its initial release but has subsequently become a cult classica-hem Wikipedia, I am an eighteen year old girl, my peers and I decide what is and isn’t a cult classic. No one has heard of this film! I’m forever explaining about it to others. And I’m not one of those people who stops liking things when they become popular- I like talking about the things I like to other people that like them.
So I’m going to be generous and I’ve decided to pick out ten reasons why it should be a film that everyone has seen.

1. Hatchet-Face
Kim McGuire’s grotesque portrayal of the loyal gang member who fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down transcends the cardboard cut-out characters with strong visual impact and few lines usually are. She teaches us that looks don’t matter without making us feel patronised

how could anyone resist this beauty?

2. Johnny Depp in 1990


3. The Frenching Scene
It’s somewhat stomach-churning in its graphicness but then poignant when I think that my first French totally looked like that. It reminds me of being innocent and six years old but also with the music and it being a bit like an orgy-  it’s kind of sexy.

4. The Music

I love all the songs but especially this one, its like a call and response and so beautifully bluesy plus Allison is a total diva in it.
N.B. I’ve always wanted someone to kiss me like how they do at the end.

5. Style
Everyone is so beautifully dressed in this film, square or drape. Both the clean-cut pastelness of the Whiffles and the leather and wiggle skirts of the kids at Turkey Point are right up my street. Traci Lords is a personal favourite of mine, teenage porn star or not; she knows how to look good.

traci lords cry baby crybaby

6. Campy Comedy
‘nuff said

7. Storyline
It’s a classic story of star-crossed lovers and teenage rebellion- Waters knew it’s a tried and tested formula, which left him enough room to add in all the little extras that make it the multi-faceted masterpiece we’re left with today.

8. The Kids
Usually I hate kids but these seem to be pretty cool, they look sharp, don’t talk too much and they help save the day.

Hmm, well, I reckon I can only give you eight without totally ruining the magic when you watch it..