Tuesday, 6 December 2011

I'm Bringing Sexy Back

KK bbz. Ages ago I put a poll up on the LTND facebook page asking what y’all wanted me to write about, and as all my readers are horny teenagers the overall jist of it was that you’re after SEX, SEX and more SEX.

And as I cba to track down any people of interest from weird forums… (which I am willing to do again if you liked my previous posts) so I thought I’d just write about what I think is HOT and what I think is NOT.

And for the record, contrary to what this post’s title may have you believe- Justin Timberlake is NOT.


1. man smell

2. singing talent- not entirely sure why but a boy that can sing really gets my juices flowing, if you’ll pardon the expression

3. subtlety- being super forward is actually really creepy. Especially when I’m on my own… AWRIGHT DARLIN WASSA NICE GAL LIKE YOU DOIN IN A PLACE LIKE THIS? Trying to get from A to B without being accosted by cockney dickheads who think that’s a good line, thank you very much. I do like clever chat up lines though.. seriously I collect them. Ask and I’ll collate a list on here.

4. people who read

5. buying me stuff- K I’m totes a modern woman but who doesn’t like presents?
what can i say, i was into boys at a young age


1. accents- I find them so distracting

2. being grinded on in da club- just because I am in da club doesn’t mean you can rub your dick on me, brah.
yeah i always go out clubbin like dis bby boi. it getz me al da attenshin
3. people who ask if I’m a lesb then when they find out I’m not ask the person they asked for my number. As you might be able to tell this actually happened to me. What the helling fuck?

4. long fingernails- OMG this should have been number one. Men with long nails make me want to VOM VOM VOM all night long. So what if it’s ‘for guitar’ it’s still horrible.
get some clippers, bitch.

5. people telling me they’re in possession of an XXL baby snake. FORREAL?! I just met you. I’ll tell you my opinion on that if I ever see it, but now you’ve raised that point I don’t think that’s going to be likely.
me on my hen night... LOL

OHHHHH and the best one. Don’t talk to me if you’ve ever referred to yourself as a ‘lad’. Well unless you’re Scottish but that conflicts with the whole accent thing so it’s still better to steer clear of me.

Do you agree with me? If you do share this with all ur potential new boyfriends... or if you think I'm chatting shit, tell me so in the comments or on facebook.. 


  1. definitely into man smell and men with books, but mine has a Laaaandan accent, all i can say is it can grow on you! specially if they buy you presents :) x

  2. I think they also need to know how to please a woman ;-) hehe

  3. @unknown i've lived in SE London for over a year now... so that accent is starting not to bother me so much- tbh i might have picked it up a little bit. but to other people i probably sound like a weird farmer/posh hybrid cause've my schooling..

    @imy that is VERY good point. men, take note.