Friday, 24 December 2010

Bad Presents

Do you ever open up a gift all excited-like
Just to think: have they even met me?

First of all, just so this whole post isn’t a massive ungrateful dig at people I know, here are three things I will ALWAYS accept and show gratitude for:
1. Tights: I’m obsessed with them. I’d even be happy with opaque black ones you bought from a garage.
2. Nice smellies: buy me Radox bubbles and I’ll be laughing. I always want these things but forget to buy them. BUY THEM FOR ME. If they come from somewhere super-nice like LUSH or The Body Shop then I’ll love you long time even more.
3. Postcards/Cards With Nice Pictures: I like them and they’re also cheap. Come on, you can’t go wrong.

But my dear friends and family often do not choose to buy me things I like. Sometimes, it is as if they are only buying me these things to anger me- and not even like “lol it’s a joke present” where you might not appreciate the gift in itself- but the thought behind it makes up for that, but just- things I detest.

I am famously someone who does not drink hot drinks. So why, I wonder, do I get bought so many frickin mugs. And they are hideous and/or offensive mugs at that. Here’s one that sits on my bookshelf that I have never touched. I am not into cartoon characters okay? Let’s just get this straight. Or pastel colours for that matter. And I only like things that are “cute” if they have cats on.

Here is an offensive mug my dad bought me.

Sick. I think I gave it to a jumble sale. I hate Jamie Oliver, I hate the colour-scheme and I don’t like to advertise my failings as a woman.

ORNAMENTS: I am not an 80-year-old woman. The amount of ornaments I have given to charity is appalling. DO NOT WANT.

As a matter of fact, does anyone want? I will give this away to any willing home. It says Gemini on the other side?


Avon perfume. It smells like embalming fluid. Either get me nice perfume or just buy me chocolate. I also hate how they shamelessly rip off other brands- one year I got Avon’s Sexy 4 U, which is totally trying to be CK in 2 U.


Spatulas. THANKS NAN.

Also Merry Christmas/Bah Humbug as applicable. 

1 comment:

  1. you are hilarious.

    I love the cat's ahaha. I'm following your blog.