Friday, 10 December 2010

Stuff I Hate

I realise that I’ve been a bit absentee recently- but I’ve had essays and then I had to go home for the orthodontist. And I’m also acutely aware that my last few posts have been pretty negative and about things I hate, so today I’m going to get it out of my system for a while by giving you a list of all my pet hates. And I PROMISE that next time I’ll write you a compilation of all the things I love. Okay? Right. Onto my list.

Bad Eyebrows

I’m not talking about big eyebrows, I kind of love them and think they can be very stylish if worn properly. There are two types of eyebrows I despise:
1. Ones that look like tadpoles.
2. The ones that are so thin you couldn’t have drawn them on with a biro, which are especially creepy when they are poker straight.

What the hell do you think they look like; they’re bloody appalling. Unless you have alopecia you were born with a decent pair- why on earth would you mutilate them like that. You either look super serious, constantly bemused or just plain ridiculous. GUH.

Shop-bought Sandwiches

Why oh why does every single sandwich you buy pre-made in a shop have mayonnaise in it? Mayonnaise is a repulsive substance and I know I am not alone in my hatred of it. It is greasy and slimy and viscous and bleeeeeeeeeeeeugh.
Furthermore, when you make mayonnaise yourself it is a bright yellow colour as it is made of egg yolks and oil- so why is it white.. it’s an unnatural abomination, that’s why.

People Wearing The Same Clothes As Me

I’m making my way innocently down the street, minding my own business- when BAM I’m confronted by someone wearing my shoes.. it makes me feel uneasy and scared. It’s like they’ve gotten into my mind or something. How did they know I was going to wear that exact thing on that precise day?
Gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Public Misspellings

I’m cool with bad spelling/grammar in private correspondence, as long as it still makes sense then that’s alright. But, when these affronts to the English language are on signs or menus or facebook statuses then I lose it. In Britain it is law for you to attend school until you’re sixteen- and if after all those years you still don’t know how to use the appropriate there, they’re or their then you are obviously a failure.
Today I saw coffee spelt ‘cofe’ on the front of a shop

That is all.