Monday, 6 December 2010

Plastic Fantastic

Recently I’ve been watching a helluvalotta Nip/Tuck (and I’m totally hating on Julia- she’s such an abhorrent whory nag, I’ve seen more likable characters on Crimewatch.) and I’ve decided to say my piece on plastic surgery.

It is my personal opinion that it should be a last resort for people, it’s usually kind of a superficial reason to risk your life for; and for me the risks outweigh the gains- although I’m sure I’ll probably change my mind when I’m a withered old hag.

Breast augmentation is of course the most popular form of cosmetic surgery in both the UK and the US. But why do so many women put themselves through all this? As a girl with *ahem* more than adequate mammaries I’ve never really considered getting a boob job, but many women feel like they have fallen short in some way by having small/average breasts, and claim to be having the surgery for their own self-esteem.

Okay, anyone considering getting this type of surgery seriously needs to talk to someone with big boobs. They’re super inconvenient and mostly are more of a curse than a blessing- if you want me to explain in further detail and specifics drop me a private line.
Secondly, they mostly look bloody ridiculous. Fake boobs are so artificially round that no one in their right mind’s going to believe you were born with them.. wait, you aren’t born with breasts, scratch that. But anyway, they make you look like you’ve only gotten them so you can be a glamour model or some other male-centric profession based entirely on the physical- and duh no one wants to look like that; at least, no one reading this does cause I’m assuming that if you can read that you’re smart enough not to.

The most popular non-invasive procedure is botox, which is, for those of you not in the know; is when you get a poison injected into your face to paralyse the muscles so you look totally wrinkle free. I find it funny how you see so many actresses who’ve had it done, how’re you supposed to express emotion if you can’t move your damn face.
But do you really want to look like THIS

Anyway, my message is to embrace your mosquito bites and love your haggard and weather-beaten face. Surgery is totes gross and should only happen when you REALLY NEED IT. Like if you have an accident/deformity or something.

Plus Nicky Hambledon Jones, you look rough anyway.


  1. What about my jew nose? Is it deserving enough?

  2. i made an exception for deformity.