I find advertising quite interesting—and no, not just because of Mad Men, I actually think it is often innovative and psychological. But there is one area of the rhetorical arts that never fails to astound me in its unoriginality; the selling of traditionally feminine products to men.
Look it’s two men doing some manly DIY together, you could just cut the testosterone in that room with a knife. Now look the lad’s having a bubble! What a lad doing a lad robot dance with a macho man drill.
LAD LAD LAD.
Come on WKD, you know men don’t drink your stuff. It tastes like candyfloss!
Matthew Fox (?) giving us some spiel about LIFE and ACTION overlaying images of BOXING and HOT CHICKS and RUNNING then they sneakily show us this magical face cream that tells us where pussyboy women’s brands might ‘enliven’ or ‘regenerate’ this manly manly pot of creamed violence and sex appeal FIGHTS THE SIGNS OF FATIGUE.
Cause jeesh what is more manly than FIGHTING.
Kleenex have really done us proud with this one, it’s so manly I just felt my ovaries shrivel up.
This man isn’t a wuss for crying
Look at him
He has a BULLDOG
A BRITISH BULLDOG AND TATTOOS AND STUBBLE AND A WIFEBEATER AND A WOMAN
He is allowed to cry.
And look! It’s BOB frickin GELDOF, LAUGHING IN THE FACE of some MUMMA’S BOY SISSY GIRL PANTS EXECUTIVES
Now there’s Emma Bunton, wait! She isn’t a MAN!?! Oh.. but she just ripped apart those WIMPY PINK ROSES and is ROCKIN OUT to ROCK MUSIC whilst wearing LEATHER,, it’s okay, honorary lad-ship awarded.
Now the manliest man of them all, SVEN GORAN MOTHER EFFING ERICSSON! And he’s not using the tissues, oh contraire! He’s KICKING THEM into the BIN and screaming GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!
Oof my testicles just dropped.
In my humble opinion adverts like these are pretty offensive to men… or maybe these adverts work, I’m not sure
So boys, tell me, are you mainly into FIGHTING and LADS and FOOTBALL?