Non-Participant

I’ve decided to write today’s post along a similar vein to the last one; deal with it.

Today as I was traipsing home after a night of merriment and mayhem I decided to actually look at the people in the bus station. I saw some kid with too much fringe wearing this:

I was under the impression that My Chemical Romance and being “emo” evaporated when I turned fourteen, but obviously this isn’t the case.

So today I’m going to talk about the important fashion movements that have happened in my life.

1. Grunge

Well, I think I was far too young to appreciate grunge back when it was happening.

2. Plastic

When I was about six everyone except me had one of these:

but in neon colours and saying SPICE on the back. My mother said they were tacky. She also said this about clothes from Tammy Girl. In my eyes it was all so chic and I was seriously missing out.

I did end up with some cool foam platform sandals though and I wore them to death.

3. Shakira

This video:

sparked a semi-pornographic frenzy of leather and hipster jeans. Age-suitability aside, I was set on becoming as sexy as Shakira. I never really reached the sexy heights of this Colombian belly-dancer- I just kind of looked like an idiot in clothes that didn’t fit me in a halter-neck and jeans made for curves.

And with the birth of low-rider jeans came the birth of love handles and a builders bum/visible thong.

Hot.

4. Chav

This was another craze I wasn’t really allowed to participate in. Mum said velour tracksuits with juicy written on the arse were too slutty for a 12 year old. Sometimes I thank the lord my mother dressed me until I was thirteen.  

I never really had the attitude for it either. Seeing me describe things as minging/blinging was pretty pathetic.

5. Emo

FINALLY! A craze where self-harming was an outfit addition.

I look stupid with a fringe and my ass is too big for skinny jeans, I left it to the pros.

5. Scene Kid

Aesthetically, I liked this better than Emo, but the people who were the most into it all were massive twats.

‘Coon Tails anyone?

6. LOOK AT THE NAME ON MY CHEST

Jack Wills, Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch.  The holy trinity. I couldn’t afford it and I thought the clothes were hideous beyond belief. And I don’t wear hoodies/tracksuits outside of my own home.

7. I Found This in a Bin.

I’m not sure what to call this trend. But y’all know what I mean.

Is it grunge come full circle?

I think I’ve got this up to modern day- if I’ve missed any major trends out just tell me and I’ll amend it.

And just FYI at the moment I’ve decided to bring Yuppie into the 21^st century. It’s gunna be the next big thing I swear.