Saturday, 15 January 2011

Money, Money, Money

To quote the great Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny and Anna-Frid:
Ahaaaaaaaha, all the things I could do if I had a little money-
 My last post was about people with money, so today I’m going ponder what’d happen if I was suddenly to come into a vast fortune.
Oh, and by the way this is just about what I’d get for myself- of course I’d give the surplus to –insert cause here- because I just care so much about –said cause-.

The day I got the money
Of all the money I’ve ever earnt in my life- I’d say 1/5th of it has gone on buying electronics, 1/6th on socialising, 1/10th on makeup and the rest has probably been spent on clothes.
 So if past behaviour is anything to go by, I’d probably go out with a friend and buy loads of beautiful clothes. Cause you’d never go out and buy stuff you actually need on your first day of being loaded, would you?

Second day of being minted
I’d probably get a Blackberry- I know I take the mick of all you people with nice phones- but as beautiful as my phone is:

It’s not the most functional thing in the world and it just loves to crash. 
Also I’d probably buy Cadbury’s today- I heard some woman complaining on the radio about how it’s not a British-owned company anymore, how preposterous! I’d buy it back from Kraft, but mainly because I want to push the development of calorie-less chocolate, rather than any patriotism.

Third day
Now’s the time to set myself up for life. I’d by myself a beautiful townhouse in Chelsea and get some lackey to do all the décor. I’m having this wallpaper:

In the kitchen and I reckon I’ll get one of those snazzy red Magnet kitchens I keep seeing in adverts. Furthermore, it is also imperative that I have my own library, complete with kitsch chintz armchairs and a librarian. As even though I’m now a billionaire I still want to pass my degree.

I will also get a Nissan Figaro in Barbie pink and a driver to drive me round town in it.

Wow, this is all I can think of to buy with an endless fortune. I guess my aims are more modest than I first thought.
But sometimes I’m watching MTV cribs and the people on it all seem to have such sad little lives in their huge empty houses. Why would you need more than one car or one television just for yourself?

Oh and I forgot, I’m going to get Xzibit and all the guys at West Coast Customs to pimp my Figaro out. Cause I want footrests with T.Vs in them. 


  1. I wish I had money to travel! I would love to visit london again, we should trade places and then you could go to new york!

    thanks for commenting on my blog, I am following yours now and I hope you will stop by or follow my blog again!


  2. This is incredibley darling

    and I would LOVE to be the Kim Kardashain to your Paris Hilton hahahaha

    or better yet

    with the money you hire paparazzi to follow you around!

  3. I love reading how people would spend their billions of dollars because it's always nice to see a part of someone else's dream. :)