Those of you who don’t know me in the real world might not
realise that I originally hail from the countryside.
Yep, just like Farmville ‘cept it’s REAL.
[Mary mother of god!- MS word recognises Farmville as a
proper word and even capitalised it for me… what is the world coming to?]
Anyway, me and the mohawked rugmuncher (oh so now mohawked
and rugmuncher aren’t real words? Eff you MS word) had a debate about whether
the city or the countryside is better to live in.
OBVIOUSLY I sided with the city, I mean- which sane person
wouldn’t?
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| This is pretty much my house |
It’s not that I’m not grateful to the countryside for giving
me a dull as dishwater upbringing with nothing to do but sit on the church
steps sipping from a three litre bottle of Frosty Jack’s. cause like, if I’d
grown up in the city I might have… I don’t know, not been to as many parties
put on in village halls? Or maybe
I wouldn’t have benefitted from knowing the name of every single drongo that sits on the till at Morrisons.
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| Nice tabard. |
Okay, jokes aside. Maybe the countryside is safer. There are
much more places for a murderer to dispose of your mutilated body, but chances
are that cause everyone knows everyone you’re likely to already be aware of
those with sociopathic tendencies, and have given them a wide berth.
Oh and it’s pretty. I hate the beach, but I guess the fields
and rivers are okay I suppose.
Which is why I uphold the view that living in a village
should be the preserve of holidaymakers and the elderly.
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| I googled 'inbred' and got this! LOLZ |
EVERYTHING about living in a rural town is inconvenient. I
don’t drive- so where I can go alone is entirely dependent on where buses go.
Which generally- they don’t go at all. Buses cost a fortune too, people say
London is expensive but a single bus ticket with an oyster card is only £1.30,
I could pay £4, more if I actually admit to being an adult (I never will).
EVERYONE knows your business. Nothing can go under the
radar. Especially when you’re a local celeb like myself….
EVERYWHERE is chock full of old people. I don’t particularly
have a problem with old people.. but when I’m trying to post a letter the last
thing I want is to be stuck behind a queue of geriatrics paying their TV
licence with a collection of five pence pieces.
There are no old people in London, people think I’m joking
but they just aren’t any.
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| You know they only have those wheely things to take up MORE space and be even MORE inconvenient |
Lol I called this post ‘City Livin’’ when actually I just
ranted about how bad country living is.. oh well, c’est la vie.
