Funny Bitches

Comediennes (women comedians)- rare.

STRAIGHT BRITISH comediennes- close to extinct.

Discuss.

On QI Stephen asked why they don’t feature more women on their panel- and the answer was because women simply aren’t funny.

I googled 'appalled woman' and this is what I got. Deal with it.

Wait, that’s not fair!

Some of my funniest friends are women! (yes Jeff this includes you- there’s your mention, now like my facebook page you harlot) and brain-wise, of the two sexes it is women that are supposed to be the great left-brained communicators, and comedy is mostly talk, right?

Further to this women have a reputation for being a touch psychic- maybe I’m exaggerating a little but it has been proved that if you set a man against a woman in a game of rock paper scissors the woman will probably win- because as a rule are better at reading what other people are likely to do, probably as a result of some deep nurturing quality evolution has implanted deep into our genome or something. And surely being able to READ PEOPLE’S MINDS would make women better comics, cause they’d know exactly what the audience wants to hear.

But no, I actually agree with QI’s findings. The female comedians, at least the ones they put on the UK tube nowadays, as a whole just kind of aren’t funny. And why are the majority of the funny ones lesbians? There are way more straight women than lezzers. So what’s the fricking deal?!

BY AND LARGE comediennes can be placed into one of two categories:

1. Man-haters

Sarah Millican's ex-husband is possibly the most talked about subject on panel shows today.

Man-haters: as much as I love a bit of man-bashing now and again (and let’s face it, they kind of have it coming to them) by hating on men they are essentially alienating themselves from half of the population, cause I don’t care what y’all say- men are bloody sensitive, and we have to stroke and coddle their fragile little egos… d’awww. Plus- Mary mother of Jesus does it get a bit samey. It’s kind of like a male comedian doing non-stop mother-in-law jokes or waxing lyrical about how bad his wife is at driving. So dull.

2. Hopelessly stupid

To coin a phrase from the Pixies- where is my mind?

Oh, and the ditzy one. It’s just soooo slapstick. Dull dull dull dull dull! I mean, did feminism NEVER happen or something?  A woman is allowed to be witty and sharp and devastating. Women are bitchy- and that is FUNNY! But T.V women just aren’t. It’s probably why I like so many gay comics cause they have all of the bitchiness but none of the strange inhibitions women seem to have.

It's not like I don't appreciate women being put on (mainly BBC) television, it's just I think they should be on there because they are GOOD rather than because they are GIRLS.


So this is my plea to you; the British female population. Be funny. And go on television- break that glass ceiling betches! WERRRRRRRK