Scrimp With Me

Hey guys, last time I did a post about saving money y’all seemed to really like it. So I thought I’d do another one sharing more of my pennypinching know-how. 

1. FREE FREE FREE FREE FREE

I effing ADORE getting things on the cheap- and it’s even better when you can get them for FREE. I highly recommend that you become a fan of Women Freebies on facebook. From one month of following the links given on just this one website I have managed to get---- drumroll please:

A big bar of galaxy chocolate

Lots of wrinkle cream samples

A tin of spam

A facemask

A small vial of Tabasco sauce

Which is not bad! Some of the samples through the post take a little while to arrive, but seeing as it’s not costing you anything, it’d be rude to moan about it.

2. Magazines

It’s always worth checking what free gifts are on offer! This month’s Cosmo has a free pair of Eyelure false eyelashes, which I know retail in Boots for around £5, and Cosmo is only £3.50!

So not only do you get a slightly sexist bible of weird sex tips and TRUE LIFE STORIES- you also get to look lash-tastic! Hot!

Frankly, who wouldn't want to look like they have moths clinging to their eyelashes?

3. Get Bank Savvy

Are you in possession of a child bank account you’ve almost forgotten about?

If yes… STOP

Now is the time to remember it. Chances are that the interest you’re getting on it is an absolute pittance. So move that money betch!

But remember: it’s highly likely that the account will be under one of your parents names, but they can be signed over to you, so check it out!

Shop around for the best deal, and be sure of what you want.

An instant access savings account means you can get at your money in an emergency, but a fixed-term saver might mean you get better rates.

But be practical, you don’t want to be caught out!

4. Collect Vouchers

See, Katie Holmes doesn't even need to use them but she still does, because coupons are just so CELEBRITY

With my last box of hair dye (Garnier Ultra Colour in Ice Blonde- yes I’m not a natural blonde. Now get over it you horrible judgmental people) I got a coupon for money off Garnier roll-on deoderant! That’s pretty cool!

My top tip for voucher usage is to write down when they expire in a diary- then you’ll be reminded to use them before they run out.

I know using vouchers is usually the preserve of housewives and old women, but in this economic climate I am glad of all the 30p savings I can make.

As some crazy old broad once said- ‘watch the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves’.

Aces!

Money, Money, Money

To quote the great Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny and Anna-Frid:

Ahaaaaaaaha, all the things I could do if I had a little money-

 My last post was about people with money, so today I’m going ponder what’d happen if I was suddenly to come into a vast fortune.

Oh, and by the way this is just about what I’d get for myself- of course I’d give the surplus to –insert cause here- because I just care so much about –said cause-.

The day I got the money

Of all the money I’ve ever earnt in my life- I’d say 1/5^th of it has gone on buying electronics, 1/6^th on socialising, 1/10^th on makeup and the rest has probably been spent on clothes.

 So if past behaviour is anything to go by, I’d probably go out with a friend and buy loads of beautiful clothes. Cause you’d never go out and buy stuff you actually need on your first day of being loaded, would you?

Second day of being minted

I’d probably get a Blackberry- I know I take the mick of all you people with nice phones- but as beautiful as my phone is:

It’s not the most functional thing in the world and it just loves to crash. 

Also I’d probably buy Cadbury’s today- I heard some woman complaining on the radio about how it’s not a British-owned company anymore, how preposterous! I’d buy it back from Kraft, but mainly because I want to push the development of calorie-less chocolate, rather than any patriotism.

Third day

Now’s the time to set myself up for life. I’d by myself a beautiful townhouse in Chelsea and get some lackey to do all the décor. I’m having this wallpaper:

In the kitchen and I reckon I’ll get one of those snazzy red Magnet kitchens I keep seeing in adverts. Furthermore, it is also imperative that I have my own library, complete with kitsch chintz armchairs and a librarian. As even though I’m now a billionaire I still want to pass my degree.

I will also get a Nissan Figaro in Barbie pink and a driver to drive me round town in it.

Wow, this is all I can think of to buy with an endless fortune. I guess my aims are more modest than I first thought.

But sometimes I’m watching MTV cribs and the people on it all seem to have such sad little lives in their huge empty houses. Why would you need more than one car or one television just for yourself?

Oh and I forgot, I’m going to get Xzibit and all the guys at West Coast Customs to pimp my Figaro out. Cause I want footrests with T.Vs in them. 

Student Money Saving Tips

I'm a tight-fisted miser and proud, and why shouldn't I be? I have money and you all have none. Follow these five key principles and live the life of a king:

1. Get yourself on the mailing list for Martin’s Money Tips, he collates all the deals and vouchers available online and in newspapers/magazines. There are all sorts, from online shopping to restaurants and magazine freebies. He’ll even advise you as to how much you’d have to spend in order for it to be worth it: for example, if you had 10% off H&M online you’d have to spend at least £30 for it to be worth it if the delivery is £3.

2.     Student discounts: ask if you can get money off whenever you try and buy something. At McDonalds you can get a free cheeseburger/hamburger/McFlurry if you buy a meal and present a student card; by my reckoning you can probably feed two people for under a fiver if you buy a large meal, have the free burger and split the chips and drink. If you have an NUS card you can get even better discounts, the most useful ones (in my opinion) are those for Amazon and Superdrug.

3.      Don’t be afraid to complain: if you’re not happy with something- go and give them a piece of your mind! One time I found a bit of plastic in a pizza at Frankie and Benny’s and we got the whole meal for free, all five of us.  Sending letters of complaint is also a good method to get vouchers and free stuff.

4.    Shop/cook in groups: everyone knows that it’s cheaper to buy in bulk and it also enables you to take advantage of buy one get one free and 3 for 2 deals. Alternatively, buy lots and freeze what you’re not going to immediately use. Also don’t shop while you’re hungry- cause you’ll just buy a load of junk food you don’t actually need.

5.     Take advantage of 2^nd hand stuff: if you need something, try asking if anyone in your family/friends have an old one you can have, or check out charity shops. Your Nan probably has a spare toaster or drying-rack hanging about and you’ll get it for free unless she’s a total stinge.

Hope you find these useful and they help you all to be super prudent and thrifty.