Advanced Gastronomy with Nigella Dollface: Tinker's Toast

I'm going to show you how to make the best toast in the world--
Oh, I see that little know-it-all smirk, you think you can already do it hey?
NO. You are not capable. Stop getting ideas above your station.

This is a family recipe passed down through at least three generations- Grandad, Papa, Me. And I reckon Grandad learnt it from his dad but I can't exactly fact-check because he is sadly deceased.
Anyway. It is essentially a toasted marmite sandwich but if I don't show you all exactly how these two slices of perfection are achieved I know you're just going to try and do it your own way and make a total pigs ear of it- then think i'm crazy.
Also don't look away if you hate marmite, the same goodness is possible with jam, honey or marmalade.

Step One
Get out two slices of bread. White/brown it doesn't matter- there's no discrimination here. But it must be bog-standard sliced bread; no fancy bloomers or farmhouse loaves, throw that posh muck to the pigeons.

Step Two

Butter said slices- not too much butter or you'll mess it up and also have a coronary. I don't care whether you use real butter, margarine that you can't believe isn't butter or any other form of faux butter, just butter the damn slices. I'm using Co-op Olive Spread, it's quite nice.

Step Three

Spread one of the slices with marmite/a spread of your choice. With marmite it is important you give it a decent covering, all over, because that one covering is going to eventually cover both slices. Don't take the mick though because too much marmite is revolting.

Step Four

Now place one slice on top of the other, butter on marmite. I always wipe my knife on the top as a kind of signature or something.. 

Step Five

Place both slices into one slot of the toaster. This is why it's important to use thin bread.

Step Six

Turn on the toaster. Put it on a setting for it to be nicely browned- even if you're like me and prefer your toast blonde you must trust me, this only works with a good crunch.

Step Seven

Remove toast from toaster. 

Step Eight

Cut into triangles, it's the best way.

Step Nine

Now you will see that this process has created a revelation in toast-craft. The outside is crisp and the inside is gooey and moist and totally melt-in-the-mouth. 

DEVOUR. 

paha you can see my brace indents.. 

Bon appetit!

also please feel free to comment and tell me how it went if you tried, i'd be glad to hear feedback.