Having Very Long Hair

 If you know me you’ll know that I have very long hair; it’s often the first thing people notice about me and when people forget my name I am “the one with the hair”.  so I thought I’d do a FAQ thing about it.

First of all here's me- this is from last year but I always look the same 

Why is your hair so long?

Now, despite it somewhat defining me, I’m very laissez-faire with my hair- it is so long because I can’t be bothered to go to a hairdressers. Plus, they tend to take get a bit over excited at my hair and take ages trying to do stuff to it, and having my hair brushed in public is really embarrassing.

Has your hair always been that long?

This is a stupid question seeing as obviously I didn’t come out of the womb with it. I, like everyone else, had short hair as a young girl but I wanted to grow it so I’d look like a princess.. then I never stopped.

D'aww (and if you couldn't guess it was me from my angelic attire- i'm the blonde one)

How did you grow it so long? Mine gets to about here *gesticulates* then it stops growing! It’s so unfair! Waaaah!

Erm, your hair doesn’t just stop growing. Nutter. It got so long because I get my hair cut once or twice a year and you go every six weeks- duh.

Does it take you ages to wash and dry it?

Well, this is a weird one cause I’m not really aware of how long it takes people with short hair- since I’ve had long hair since I was about six. I try and wash my hair every other day to keep costs down and it takes me 20 minutes for a whole shower usually, is that normal? I don’t know. And I don’t use a hair-dryer; I’ve always ignored the risk of catching my death of cold (has anyone ever actually done that) and sleep with wet hair.

You ever tempted to cut it all off?

I actually quite frequently am but then I wuss out. I am definitely getting it all chopped off by my thirtieth birthday though, greying long hair is depressing and makes you look older.

Can I play with your hair?

No, just no.

You’re so lucky to have long hair

(I know this isn’t a question)

Yeah, I guess I am lucky that my circumstances haven’t forced me into selling my hair (yet). But seriously, I think I am- it’s kind of nice being stopped by old people because they want to give you compliments and tell you “I had hair just like you when I was a girl” although it is a bit creepy when they stroke it. I’m flattered but that’s weird.

I hope this was interesting for you, I never wrote the word hair that many times before. Crazy stuff.

p.s I thought I’d leave this as a treat:  if you’re dead bored read all the sections- I don’t know who this guy’s audience is supposed to be but they seem to be pretty “special” also he really hates barbers, like REALLY hates them. They’re constantly trying to sabotage his hair growth agenda.